My Guide To Surviving In Morganville
by NothingnessAlchemist
Summary: I got bored,and came up with this.It is my guide to surviving in Morganville.Morganville is just a regular little town with a supernatural leech problem.So if you want to live,read this!
1. Chapter 1

Welcome to Morganville. Morganville is like any other small town in Texas. Dry,dusty,hot. With a major leech problem. Well,more like vampire. Yes,that's right,I said vampire. When the sun goes down,the vampires come out to _play. _So this is my guide to surviving in vamptown.

Guide Chapter 1

Q-When can you go outside?  
A-Nevar! *sigh* Okay,you can go out during the time the sun is up. But when it turns dusk,you're food. So lock yourself up in your house and do NOT go outside for any reason until the sun is up.

Q-Can I be eaten if I go outside at night?  
A-*sigh* Yes. I cannot stress how much you will become FOOD if you go OUTSIDE at NIGHT! Oh my God!

Q-Do vampires eat nerds?  
A-No,they taste too much like computer...

Q-Does silver really burn vampires?  
A-Yeah. The next time you see a vampire ask him,"Can I pwetty pwease sprinkle some silver on you?"

Q-Does anyone out there have any more questions to be answered by me?  
A-Hope so. :)

**Okay so please send me questions in private messages or in reviews to be put in the next chapter. I will answer them and you could help someone who reads the Guide. Oh,and here's a question I got asked,but has nothing to do with Morganville:**

Q-Do you like Shrek?  
A-YES! SHREK!

-NothingnessAlchemist


	2. Chapter 2

Hey,new resident! So I suppose you actually made it for a while since you're reading this. Okay,I have recieved tons of questions for this Chapter of the Guide,and some for the next chapter! Okay,if you sent in questions I will answer them directly to you. Yay! Even if you know the answers! Yay! Cause it's fun to see what I say! Yay! Okay,now that I'm back off my random I-have-lots-of-questions-for-this-chapter-and-possibly-the-next high,let's get this thing started!

Guide Chapter 2

Q-What blood type do vampires prefer? -From Rubberdu3ky.  
A-I have to say the most delectible to a vampire is O positive and maple syrup. What? That isn't a blood type,you say? *shrugs* Oh,well,maple syrup tastes good anyways... Even Oliver adores it. And I hear he even has a crush on it...

Q-Do vampires really sleep in coffins? -From Rubberdu3ky.  
A-Yes. Who doesn't want to sleep on soft plushy velvet in a black box that technically states,'_Hey!I'm dead'_ and totally represents the never ending viod of death in multiple ways...? Yeaahh,when I put it that way,I bet I could even convince vampires to not sleep in coffins...

Q-If you cut a vampire,will they bleed? -From Rubberdu3ky.  
A-Well,go find a vamp and slice 'em open!

Q-Can vampires get into cars that are the color silver? -From Rubberdu3ky.  
A-Yes. So long as the paint contains not even a trace of silver. But if there is even the slightest bit of silver,they will instantly become a vampire fireball! YAY! (Go paint Oliver's car silver that contains real silver! That would be funny!)

Q-Do vampires have a heart? -Rubberdu3ky.  
A-Hmm,do what I said above in parenthesis to Oliver and see if he actually lets you live. If he does,then yes.

Q-If you threw up blood on a vampire would they eat it? -From Rubberdu3ky.  
A-Umm,to start I love how this question is so freaking morbid and twisted and halarious! Umm,I don't know...But I'd kill to see Oliver or Myrnin or...ooh,Amelie do that.

Q-If the vampires have a car,why don't the keys burn them? -From Rubberdu3ky.  
A-Well,most keys are metal instead of silver. And plus,Amelie gives all vamps Vampire Issued Cars so I'd say they don't have silver keys. But would someone PLEASE buy Myrnin a car? He'd go all psycho driving like a maniac. I'd love to see that!

Q-If you were close enough to breathe on a vampire and have garlic beath, would it affect them? -From Rubberdu3ky.  
A-I am soo going to eat a whole clove of garlic right now to test that out!

**Okay,that's all the questions for this chapter of the Guide. Yes,I do realize that ALL the questions were from Rubberdu3ky. That's because I got so many questions this time,that I figured I'd do all of Rubberdu3ky's and then the others I recieved tomorrow. And as normal,I ask that you PLEASE review and tell me what you think of this or suggest questions. You can also PM questions to me. I would love to thank Rubberdu3ky for asking all these questions. Tomorrow's chapter will not completely be questions...MWUAHAHAHHAHAH! The Suspense! It's killing me! Hmm...Or rather,it's killing you 'cause I already know what will happen... Wait. I do? Until next time and thanks,**

-NothingnessAlchemist


	3. Chapter 3

Hey hey hey! So Morganville resident,today instead of just answering questions,I will be providing a long (nope! It's really short) list of weapons that hurt vampires. But don't worry,it won't be boring. It shall contain my usual randomness. Yay! Or not.

Guide Chapter 3

List of weapons to hurt vamps

1) Holy water (It burns vampires and makes 'em hole-y! Yes,I do realize that was stupid pun.)  
2) Stakes (Yeah! Stake their immortal butts!)  
3) Cross (Nope,crosses don't affect the vampires. But it does help you with whichever God you choose.) **A/N-Yeah,I'm Christian,but I know some people aren't and I respect that. So that's why I said whichever God you choose.  
**4) Silver (Silver frigging rocks! Okay,like it ignites tiny burns where ever it lands on vampires! As an added feature,if you dump a huge barrel of silver over their heads,they turn into a vampire fireball!)  
5) Umm,I don't have a five...

Now it's time for questions!

Q- Do vampires lose their fangs like human teeth? -From Flying Penguinz.  
A- Nope. If you think I'm wrong,think about it. Could you ever -EVER!- see Oliver with two little tiny baby fangs? Didn't think so.

Q- Do vampires sharpen their fangs? -From Flying Penguinz.  
A- Only the ones who grind their teeth while they sleep.

Q- Will the vampires dress up as humans for Halloween? -From Dantea Dredstin.  
A- Yep:Oliver's going as a fairy princess(I hope it's because he lost a bet...if not...UGH),Amelie's going as gothic kid (nothing against gothic kids;just using that),and poor crazy old Myrnin is going as a ballerina.

Q- How can Morganville celebrate Halloween if they can't go out after dark? -From Dantea Dredstin.  
A- Absolutly no frigging idea...maybe it is all reversed around: The humans think their going to get candy,but the vampires are getting to pick off the best humans...

Okay,so it is 11 at night and I am tired. So I was going to stop here,BUT Dantea had two questions off his/her list that I ABSOLUTLY HAD TO DO!

Q- What would happen if you fabricated pictures of Oliver and Amelie making out and posted them all over Morganville? -From Dantea Dredstin.  
A- I couldn't quit laughing for an hour after I read that! Probably the biggest man hunt like EVAR! Whoever would do that would totally be put down as AWSOME in my book.

Q- Whos reaction would be funnier if you did what they above question said? Amelie or Oliver's? - From Dantea Dredstin.  
A- Amelie keeps a cool mask cause she's leader so I'm sure she wouldn't be funny to watch. Well,maybe a little... Even though Oliver can keep a cool mask,he totally would blow up with anger at this. It would be totally frigging halarious!

Anyways,I just LOVED those last ones. I'd like to get more funny stuff like that. Anyways,thank you all for your questions,and if they weren't in any of the chapters so far,don't worry. They will be in the next. So until tomorrow -or whenever- REVIEW!

-NothingnessAlchemist


	4. Chapter 4

Okay,new resident,here's Chapter Four of The Guide. Sorry I haven't updated in awhile,but I have thrown off a one-shot,two new stories,Chapter seven of my first fanfic,and I've been not in the mood to do this. So I figured you deserved an update. By the way,when I started this,I had to come up with the first chapter's questions myself. I didn't think I would actually get more than 5 questions. I also thought I'd have to be really creative and come up with questions myself. But instead,I have gotton a total of 29 questions. I've answered fifteen of them and I have 14 left. I am gonna break these into three chapters. So chapter 5 should be out tomorrow.

Chapter 4

Q-What would the vampires say if you told them about Twilight? -From Dantea Dredstin.  
A-They would probably go balistic claiming all the stuff in the book was not true. I wrote a fanfic on it called "Twilight Reactions." Check it out. (Dantea Dredstin,if you feel I am stealing your idea I will take the story down. So if you don't want me writing that,I won't. I did write that the main idea was from you. I did give you credit.)

Q-What would the vampires reactions be if you told them they were nothing more than a couple of good novels and loads of fanfiction,and that all their hard work against Bishop was for nothing because they don't exist? -From Dantea Dredstin.  
A-1)I would NEVER tell them that! 2)Lets not call them novels;they are books. Other books can be called novels,but the MV books deserve to be called books. 3)It got me thinking,if you printed all the MV fanfiction stories out and threw them in wheel-barrels **(A/N-It ticks me off that people call them wheel-_barrows_. People,you PRONOUNCE it BARREL so WRITE it BARREL!) **you really would have loads of fanfiction. 4)Their hard work against Bishop was for something because they DO exist. THEY DO! Sorry,I had a Myrnin moment. 5)Don't you just love that I didn't actually give you an answer addressing the question's answer? 6)Don't you just love that number 5 was so frigging confusing? lol. ;)

Q-What are vampires? -From KatieeAnnSaliba.  
A-Okay,you asked this like a month ago,and I started not to answer it,I really did. But I thought about it and it is my duty. I must answer it,I must! Okay,since you really seem slow about the whole vampire transformation thing,I will say this really simple: Vampire see human they like. Vampire goes to human. Then vampire bites human. Vampire shoots venom into human's neck. Then human turns into a vampire. Just like the Magical Rainbow Pony. One second it is a normal pony,the next it can fly! Yay! Magical Rainbow Pony!

Q-Will Amelie allow you to sue a vampire? -From Flying Penguinz.  
A-OMG! I read this and it soo reminded me of Shrek and I started laughing so hard,it wasn't funny. Well,actually it was funny! Okay the reason it reminded me of Shrek was the scene I envisioned **(A/N-Did I spell that right? Wow,that's another of those wierd words.) **was: This human sees a big vampire sedan approaching and when it gets so close that it can't stop,the human jumps in front of the car. Then the vamp jumps out and the human screams really fakely," Ahh..ahh. I'm blind! I'm blind!" Just like the scene in Shrek where Donkey jumps in front of the carrige**(A/N-Did I spell _that _right? Sorry but these words are wierd to spell.) **and the carrige runs over him and he yells that above. It's so funny because I can hear Eddie Murphey's voice in my head yelling that!

Q-Is Eve right? Does Amelie sleep in the nude? Or nice warm flannels? -From Flying Penguinz.  
A-Umm,I don't even want to know how far you had to dive into the dark morbid part of your brain to come up with that. But it is a fun question so I am gonna tell you I am diving really really REALLY -Like Myrnin deep- into my dark morbid part of my brain to answer this! I think Eve is wrong. Yep,wrong. Amelie does not sleep in the nude. But she doesn't wear nice warm flannels,either. I say she stole one of Oliver's shirts and she sleeps in jogging pants and that shirt. What? Every queen has a casual side. Oh,that isn't why you're staring at me like I'm loony? Then why? Oh,because I said she sleeps in one of Oliver's shirts. Well,she does. And it is because she secretly loves him and doesn't want him to know so this is the only way she can be close to him without him...well,being Oliver.

**OMG! I so dived in maybe an inch to get the answer to the last one. Yeah,I'm just that awsome. I loved that question. I actually started to say she did sleep in the nude (for honor of Eve) and she had a tattoo that said,"I love Oliver." Anyways,tell me what you think. Did you love it or love it? Review! Nah,tell me if you hate it. I want to know. Actually if you hate it,I don't care. IF SOMEONE TELLS ME THEY HATE THIS,I WILL STOP WRITING IT FOREVER! THAT IS A PROMISE! I AM NOT LYING,I SWEAR!**

-NothingnessAlchemist.


	5. Chapter 5

____

_While everybody else is gettin outta bed,I'm usually gettin in it. I'm not in it to win it. And there's a thousand ways you can skin it._

____

My feet have been on the floor,flat like an idle singer. Remember winger.

I digress. I confess you are the best thing in my life. But I'm afraid when I hear stories 'bout husband and wife.

____

_There's no happy endings. No Henry Lee. But you are the greatest thing about me._

If it's love. And we decide that it's forever. No one else could do it better.

____

If it's love. And we're two birds of a feather. And the rest is just whatever.

****

**Sorry,I'm jamming to Train. By the way,the italics is the first minute of Train's song,If It's Love. Go check it! Yeah,I do have a wide variety of favs..******

Okay,so I don't fully have my schedule yet,but I know I will definately be able to write Friday,Saturday,and Wednesday. Unless I am busy Wednesday,then I will update another day.

So it's not too bad,see? Well,I had me first day back today and it rocked! Got most me buddies! On with the questions!

**Chapter 5**

Q-Who is most likely to win America's Next Top Vampire? -From Dantea Dredstin.  
A-YAY! I get to be a judge! Lol. Sorry,Myrnin moment there. Well,I'll just figure up each vamp's score.

Myrnin:  
Frigging insane-10 points  
Lives in a lab-5 points  
A scientist and alchemist-15 points.  
Loves spiders-3 points (spiders scare me)  
Admires spiders-15 points (Whole different thing going on there)  
Flip-flops-3 points  
Eccentric,goes how he wants-13 points**Total=64

* * *

  
**Oliver:  
*Bi-polar-12 points(his reactions are funny)  
*Hippy-15 points  
*Great actor-7 points  
*Old dude has ponytail-19 points (Old dudes with ponytails is just funny,so that's why he scores so high for that)  
*Awsome coffee maker-16 (I luv cofffeeeeee)  
Created by Bishop- -8 (Bishop sucks-pun not intended)  
Killed loads of people- -9 **Total=52

* * *

  
**Amelie:  
Authority- -12 points (She acts too much like she's still queen. Get over it Amelie,you're just a frigging founder!)  
Locked Myrnin up in his shack- -9 points  
Basically killed Sam- -16 points  
Ignored Sam- -7 (What the heck,woman? He loved you!)  
Always has to stop Myrnin and Oliver before they fight- -17 points  
Sliced Ollie's face up in Fade Out- 29 points (In Fade Out in the Glass House secret room)  
Actually gets Oliver to mind- 32 points **Total=0 **(I just noticed this after I finished it! Wicked!)

The Winner of this century's America's Next Top Vampire is... MYRNIN! Sorry all you Amelie(Midnight Vampire Charlotte) and Oliver(Flying Penguinz) fans,but Myrnin is my favest character so I had to make him win.

Q-Are any of the vampires nice? -From Xenakisfox101112.  
A-Dunno. Never really got close enough to get aquianted with them. Except Sam. He's da bomb diggety! Well,was.. Before he was Bishop's meal... Now I'm depressed...

Q-I heard vampires can be bi-polar. True or false? -From Xenakisfox101112.  
A- 'It's something unpredictable but in the end is right. I hope you had the time of your life'... What? Oh sorry. I was jamming to Time Of Your Life(by Green Day). Oh,Yeah,Oliver is a great example! Back to the song,'So take the photographs and still frames in your mind..'

Q-What if I wanna party at night? Huh? -From Xenakisfox101112  
A-Then go party! But fight hard when you meet a vamp.. 'You gotta fight for your right to party!'

Q-What if I want to BECOME a vampire? -From Xenakisfox101112.  
A-Go find Oliver and tell him. Or just go down into Myrnin's lab and steal all his blood so he'll be really hungry. Then,hours later,go back and I'm sure he'll feel guilty after and make you a vamp. Everything works better in theory. Like me doing awsome Jet Li moves.

Q-Can you date a vampire? i.e.:Myrnin? -From Xenakisfox101112.  
A- 1) Yeah,just be sure the fridge is stocked with blood. 2)What the heck is i.e. ? 3)Myrnin? Umm,kinda eww. But sure. Go ask him out. Tell him your gonna take him to watch a movie about fanged bunnies or to a colony of spiders. I think he'd love that.

**I still have some questions from Happily Sleeping and Story Writer-In Books I Trust- so I'll get them next chapter. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Did you love it or did you love it? Did you like my answers? Please send me questions for Chapter 6. And go read Xenakisfox101112's New Death New Love stories. They Rock! Thanks,**

-NothingnessAlchemist.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey,sorry it took me awhile,but I've been very busy. But see,I'm still sticking with you guys and updating-when I can manage to. So I just be patient-really patient-and it will pay off. Cuz I won't give up on this. Ever. Till it's complete. Or I get some cookies... Either way,right? Yeah.. cookies.. Hey I know it has been almost 3 whole months since I last updated and I'm super sorry,but I have been so frigging loaded down this has been my only chance to update this story. But I determined to update every last story I've written(cept the oneshots)tonight.**

Guide Chapter 5

Q-What would happen if someone recorded Amelie lip singing to "California Girls" by Katy Perry ft. Snoop Dog,and put it on Youtube? -Happily Sleeping.  
A-Every single Morganville Vampires fan would be watching it like crazy and in a few days it would probably have over a million views. The only problem is... well, the person who recorded it would be.. gone,to say the least. Amelie isn't called the Ice Queen for nothing. At least I don't think so... Oh,well.

Q-What would happen if Dracula came to Morganville? - Story Writer-In Books I Trust-  
A-I think Amelie would fall for his ancient charm,Oliver would be jealous that Dracula took his girlfriend away from him,and Myrnin would be going insane working on some new gonna-go-insane project. In reality,I think they'd tear his butt up!

Q-Do vampires ever think about the people they killed? - Story Writer-In Books I Trust-  
A-This is one of the only questions I will ever take seriously. Honestly,I think even for someone as emotionless as Oliver,that it would eventually come to bother them. We already know Myrnin loved the hunt,but afterwards,he was a weeping idiot as Oliver says. Minus the idiot part. But I think it really would bother them.

Q-What would Oliver get at a Burger King? - Story Writer-In Books I Trust-  
A-I think he would-wait,lemme just put it in story form:

Oliver looked at the guy at the counter and said,"I'll have a large Dr. Pepper,french fries,and a Big Mac." The cashier dude says,"Sir,we don't have Big Macs." Then Oliver curses at the guy in a foreign language and storms out yelling more curses,mostly B words and F words. 'Cept this time,he said it in English. Then he went to McDonald's and bought a Big Mac. The End.

That's how I think it would go,yep.

**I hope you liked this. I know it wasn't much,especially after waiting 3 months(almost),but I swear I'm out. I have went through every PM and review I've received and then I went through my chapters,checking off every question I'd answered. SO now I'm out. Like fully out. As in there will not be another chapter if I don't get some questions. I'm sorry,but I can't really do anything about it. These are your questions,and when you have absolutely no more questions for me,this ends. But on a lighter note,review and Pm me and send some questions!**

**Right now,I'm going to go and double check to make sure,but I already know there aren't anymore questions. So please send me some. Thanks,**

**-NothingnessAlchemist.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey,I bet you didn't think I'd update this soon did you? Well,I didn't think I'd get any questions. But I got 10! Which rocks! Anyways thanks so much you guys! These were from Story Writer-In Books I Trust- and from HappilySleeping. I actually was gonna go ahead and update a different story because I prmosed to update all my stories last night,but I've changed that to weekend..cause I'm kinda lazy. Actually because I tend to spend approximately an hour on one chapter. So,yeah,I only update three yesterday. Anyways,I came upon one question that made me start laughing out loud and my family is probably thinking I'm insane. It's question number 5.**

**Chapter 7**

Q-What would Amelie and Oliver do if they woke up one morning and weren't vampires anymore? - Story Writer-In Books I Trust-  
A-Were I there,I would be frigging laughing my head off and throwing pillows at Oliver and calling him a pathetic human. Just cause that's what he calls us. Anyways,if I weren't there -dang it- then Oliver wqould go all mental and angry and try to punch the wall and break his hand and curse like a sailor. It'd be funny. And then Amelie would be over there still acting like her Queenly self. Yeah.. The good old days...

Q-What would happen if Myrnin discovered fanfiction? -future mrs. wayland  
A-I believe he would-because he's Myrnin-think it was so wonderful that hundreds of people loved him enough to write fan fic about him. He would get a big head. Until he discovered that story about him falling in love with Oliver. That'd be funny...

Q-Why do you think people call Amelie the Ice Queen? - Story Writer-In Books I Trust-  
A-For a good reason. 1) She never shows emotion. 2)She gives off this..air of authority. Powerful authority. 3)She is willing to do whatever it takes to keep her power. 4)She uses humans and vampires alike as pawns. As sacrifices. She doesn't even care that they will be killed. It's all part of her wonderous plan to keep control. Is that enough? If not send me a PM and I'll list another 5 or 6 things.

Q-If Shane and Claire were trapped in an elevator for 6 hours what would they do? If Michael and Eve were trapped in an elevator for 6 hours what would they do? - Story Writer-In Books I Trust-  
A-1)This is the first question I've done where I'm answering two at once. 2)Remember this is a K+ rated story. I'm not changing that. So I think they would basically just sit and talk. Wouldn't it be nice,where for once in Morganville you can just relax for a moment and not worry about anything? Besides the fact you're trapped in an elevator..

Q-If someone gave you cookies sprinkled with silver on it and said you could deliver it to ANY one,who would you give it to? -HappilySleeping  
A-OMG! SOmeone noticed me wanting cookies last chapter. And you seriously gotta ask? I'd give them to the one and only person I mostly make fun of on here:OLIVER! LOL!

Q-If Myrnin had a sister what type of person would she be? -HappilySleeping  
A-I think pretty,nice,caring,understanding,but with a bit of.. Myrnin to her.(the craziness I mean)

Q-If Oliver had a long lost daughter(doubt it)what would she be like? -HappilySleeping  
A-I think she'd be nice(not having grown up around Oliver),I think she'd have his eyes and maybe his nose. And I kinda think she may actually love him. But just a little. Cuz you can't love the Oli-Pop.

**I hope you've enjoyed this-I sure have. It's 1 Am and I'm freaking tired. So anyways,please review and send me questions,please PM me and send me questions. Or just review and tell me what you think. I'm glad you guys did send me a bunch of questions. And as of now,I still have 8 left to answer and I'll hit those next chapter. SO send me some more! Thanks,**

**-NothingnessAlchemist.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey,been awhile since I was on here. Actually I've been going under the Harry Potter fan fiction instead;it's entertaining and I've somehow managed to write 2 stories for it. But I felt really guilty for not updating any of these in a while(the last Morganville Vampires story I updated was a month ago:11-21-10). Because my Christmas break started recently and I have the next 2 weeks off-I promise I'll update each and every 1 of my stories twice. To make up for my usual not much updating. Forgive me? Hope so. Let's get the stories starting!**

**Chapter 8**

**Q**-What would happen if Oliver got caught borrowing Amelie's limo because his was at the mechanic's? Oh,and he'd be caught BY Amelie. - Flying Penguinz  
**A**-Amelie would open a can of whoop butt on him! No one touches Amelie's limo! No one! Not even her soon-to-be-hopefully lover. She would have her guards attack him and then he would go around sulking.

**Q**-What would Oliver look like if his alter ego were a rock guitarist? - Flying Penguinz  
**A**-He would wear black jeans with rips in the knees;a tight,black t-shirt with silver skulls and a silver drum set on it;a black leather jacket with studs;black-tinted sunglasses;his gray hair pulled back;black cowboy boots;and black,studded,fingerless gloves. And I can picture him in a bar standing on a stage rocking out.

**Q**-How often does Oliver eat a cashier/coffee person at Common Grounds? - Flying Penguinz  
**A**-Well,he always eats them when they annoy him. So usually once every few months. However,this doesn't include all humans. But I'd say at least 1 a month for regular humans that don't work for him. Otherwise,one every few months.

**Q**-What does he tell the next applicant? - Flying Penguinz  
**A**-Well,they ask about the previous employee rarely because Oliver scares them. But when they do ask,Oliver says,"None of your business. Get back to work,or you may find yourself with no job." And then he mutters under his breathe,"Or life."

**Q**-What would happen if Myrnin and Oliver had to go to dinner(strictly business)together for two hours? - Flying Penguinz  
**A**-They would walk in and end up standing for 3 minutes because neither will sit down first. Then they start ordering and Myrnin snorts at whatever Oliver gets and then Oliver growls at him and then they exchange threats. That goes on,the tension steadily rising,until they are brought their food. Then they start eating and Myrnin rushes to finish eating before Oliver and then makes fun of Oliver for taking so long. And then Oliver has had enough so he jumps up and jumps across the table and slams Myrnin in the face and then they go back and forth beating the crap out of each other. Amelie gets called and breaks them apart. End of story.

**Q**-Did you know Oliver and Myrnin had a facebook? - Flying Penguinz.  
**A**-Actually I had heard Myrnin had one so I went and checked it out. It's under Myrnin Lord or something close to that. I wasn't aware Oliver had one though. I'll go check it out,though.

**Thanks so much for reading! Please review or PM me and send me questions. Review and tell me what you think about my idea:I'll answer all questions I receive after every chapter,so there would be around 10 to 15 each chapter. What do you think? Should I,or not? Thanks,**

**-NothingnessAlchemist.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Yo,I am so sorry it's been forever. I know. I've had like 30 tests,8 geology and anatomy projects, a geography project(in process of another one),and I am sick. So I just got a second and answered these 4. Hope you like. I will update ASAP. Sorry again.\**

**Chapter 9**

Q-Do vampires get acne? -Flying Penguinz  
A-No. They have perfect skin,teeth,smell,looks. Like Myrnin and his amazingly gorgeous face... Did I say that out loud? I still think Oliver got screwed on becoming sexy when he became a vampire...

Q-Would you consider yourself a "Fangbanger" or mind being one? -MelodyBellrose  
A-Hehehehehehehehehe. It depends. I wish I were... But since I've never met Myrn-I mean a vampire,I am not one. If we're talking Oliver,then I definately mind! Myrnin? Hehehe... Wouldn't mind so much...

Q-If a vampire drinks from a drunk human,would they get drunk? -Erika Okaami  
A-Yeah. I think the alchohol goes in your bloodstream so vampire drink blood they get alchohol. At least I'm pretty sure. I was kinda not focusing on that in science;I was more preoccupied with getting ALL the freaking notes(like 8 pages I swear!)so I could pass my test on the major systems of the body. Yeah.. Passed it though! Lol,sorry.

Q-How would Amelie,Myrnin,and Oliver act if they WERE to get drunk? -Erika Okaami  
A-Myrnin would be like he had the Bishop virus again,probably try to kiss someone(like in ,but I think it'd be Claire),and start rambling about new amazing inventions in Latin. Amelie would pass out(she probably don't drink much so I think she'd be out the fastest). Oliver would whine about having to put up with Myrnin,flip him off,then punch the crap out of him. Probably knock him out,then pass out himself. What happens when they wake up after... Now _that's _a whole different story... That'd be something to watch... LOL

**I know it's short,but I just don't feel like writing right now. I'm sorry. Review. Send me more questions. By the way, Lady Gaga has an awesome new song out. It's called "Born This Way" It's amazing. Check it out. Little something for everyone in it almost. Thanks,**

-NothingnessAlchemist.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Q-What would happen if the Cullens came to Morganville? -Story Writer-In Books I Trust-  
A-Claire would fall for Edward(he is so hot,I can't blame her),then Shane would get mad and try to stake him. Which would fail. Know why? Edward got shoved into the sunlight and he lit up like a disco ball and blinded Shane. Then Bella gets mad at Claire for liking Edward and they get into a fight. Then Oliver gets ticked off and tells Carlisle to leave. And Carlisle just starts fighting with Oliver. Then Amelie gets all ticked over Carlisle attacking her secret boyfriend and attacks Esme. Anyways. Jacob runs in with Nessie,the Loch Ness Monster...Just Kidding,bella. Anyways,Jake runs in with Nessie and starts fighting some random person. Then someone slips in unnoticed and turns a CD player on. Reaking high,and I mean HIGH,pitched opera screeches through the room on full blast. Everyone quits fighting and turns to the mystery person:Myrnin! WHen they quit fighting he turns the music off. Myrnin looks like a kid in a candy store. No one pays attention to his face though. They are focused on what's in his hand,not the CD player,and what is on his shirt. He has posters in hand of Edward and Jacob. And his shirt says "Team Edward"(sorry,you Edward-haters or Jacob fans). He gets their autograph and then they leave. I think it was to do with the multiple insults calling Jake a German Shephard and Edward a corpse in good condition...

**I know it sucks today. Sorry. I may redo this later though. I am tired though and it is late. And I figured a quick update could be figured in. Sorry I haven't updated much...or at all.. but I have been busy. When summertime rolls around I will make up for it. I can't promise an update for each story every night,but I will try to update different stories every few days or so. Myabe less. Anyways,I'm psyched! I get to go to a concert tomorrow! It will be epic!**

**Hey,so,review. And drop me some questions. I'm getting low. Thanks,**

**-NothingnessAlchemist.**


	11. Chapter 11 : AN

**Usually I don't give these cause I hate them when someone adds them as a separate chapter. **

**AUthor Notes...**

**But I had to tell you...**

**THE CONCERT KICKED BUTT!**

**IT WAS SO MUCH FREAKING FUN!**

**That's it... **

**I just had to say that...**

**You should've heard me,I yelled like fifty times and it was epic!**

**Anyways,sorry to torture you with an author's note,but I HAD to say that.**

**Thanks,**

**-NothingnessAlchemist.**


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